|
The old adage of
sparing the rod as an act of hating the child might not
be so true after all. A Sweden-based organization Save the
Children (SCS) says that corporal punishment demonstrates
disrespect for human rights and perpetuates the cycle of
violates, as opposed to the long-held notion that it is the
only way to express discipline, therefore love, towards
children.
The scientific-sounding “corporal punishment” is actually
“the use of physical force to cause some degree of pain or
discomfort, however light it is.” That means, hitting
children with the hand or with an instrument like a stick or
belt. It also includes kicking, shaking or throwing
children. The definition of corporal punishment also
involves nonphysical forms of punishment “which are cruel
and degrading and which belittles, humiliates, denigrates,
threatens or scares or ridicules the child. It also includes
confinement and deliberate deprivation of physical needs,”
explains SCS country manager Rowena Cordero during the
launch of child clinical psychologist and associate
professor of Family Social Sciences at the University of
Manitoba in Canada Dr. Joan E. Durrant’s Positive
Discipline: What It Is and How Is It.
All this talk about corporal punishment was, naturally,
shocking news to me. As a child, I remember stories from
classmates being hit with a belt whenever they annoy their
parents. In my case, it was being cooped inside a dark
storeroom. In school, the rowdy ones get reprimanded by
being asked to stand on a corner for a long time while the
lecture ensues. |
|
|
Save the Children
Sweden country manager Rowena Cordero and Southeast
Asia and the Pacific Regional Adviser on Prevention
of Child Abuse and Exploitation Dominique Pierre
Plavteau
|
|
When I was in
Grade 3, a teacher hit my hand with a stick for
leaving my textbook at home.
I would also hear of accounts where a child would be
told to kneel on a bilao (round woven mat) filled
with monggo beans or rock salt as two heavy books
weigh down his arms.
While these stories are generally frowned upon and
would generate pity, they were still accepted as an
experiential part of growing up and raising good
children. Never once did I question the positive
effects—nor thought of its long-term negative
effects apart from the momentary pain and
humiliation, of course—corporal punishment can have.
Consider me then part of a bulk of the world’s population who
has at least once in their childhood experienced
physical punishment. Cordero relates that
instituting positive discipline in a world that has
learned to normalize punishment as a way, if not the
way, of discipline, is a huge task. |
|
It would take a
concerted effort of international governing bodies,
the local legal system and most especially the
parents to modify their perspectives on child
rearing.
Low self-esteem, difficulty to establish healthy relationships and
fear of committing mistakes are but few of the
negative effects of corporal punishment. “Physical
and emotional punishment has been repeatedly shown
to interfere with parents’ long-term goals for their
children. It predicts higher levels of aggression in
children, poorer parent-child relationships, and
poorer child mental health. It serves no useful
purpose in teaching children what we want them to
learn,” explains the author in a statement.
Dr. Durrant came out with the book in response to the
recommendations of the 2006 United Nations World
Report on Violence against Children that call for
the elimination of all corporal punishment of
children and the promotion of non-violent positive
discipline. |
|
|
While
corporal punishment is embedded in the belief that children
learn through pain, “positive discipline is a way of
thinking and an approach to discipline that is
solution-focused, respectful and non-violent,” says SCS
Southeast Asia and the Pacific Regional Adviser on
Prevention of Child Abuse and Exploitation Dominique Pierre
Plateau. He explains that children learn best when there is
a supportive environment to change. When they are afraid,
they become less motivated, resentful, depressed and they
will become afraid to try things out, explains Plateau,
adding that providing information children need to
understand their actions would enable them to base their
decisions well. ‘When we see things in the eyes of a child,
we will understand why they act or behave that way,” he
relates.
Positive discipline requires a total paradigm shift, from the
short-term solution of corporal punishment to a long-term
goal of giving the child tools to increase his competence
and confidence in handling challenging situations.
The book details that it is not “permissive parenting,
letting your child do whatever he wants, about having no
rules or limits or expectations and about short-term
reactions or alternative punishments to slapping and
hitting.” It is about “clear communication, building
mutually respectful relationship with your child, teaching
your child life-long skills, courtesy, non-violence,
empathy, self-respect and respect for others.” |